Books, Books, and more Books

Everyone has a book to write.  Not everyone has a book to publish. 

Xanga mayjust have been that outlet for many people.  I know that it has for me.  Why don't I spend more time on Xanga?  Because I just don't have time to write something profound...  Why do I stay on xanga?  Because I love reading about people I care about and seeing through their eyes if for just a moment.

Why is xanga slipping away?  Because the quick one sentence thought has replaced the thought out expression.  In a word, we have allowed ourselves to become busy and lazy.  I find that I only write when I have the time, which is never, or when I absolutely have to, which is only for a class or a work report.  Have we minimized ourselves into only reporting what we have done or what we are going to do?  (Although I still want to know what people are doing!)

Is our culture losing the art of reflective expression?  How are you expression yourself?  What is the title of your work of literature and what is it about?  Have you started working on it yet?

Currently The Soul of the American University: From Protestant Establishment to Established Nonbelief By George M. Marsden see related

New Semester

I love working in education for many reasons, but one of the biggest is the semester style of teaching.  You get to start all over again each semester.

It's a new semester.  Reinvent yourself.  You get to decide what type of person you will be this semester.  You decided.  The past is the past.

Currently Jesus Said "It is Finished" see related

Summer Adventures Day Four

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Today I wake up at sunrise refreshed at the fact that I will be walking out of the wilderness today.  I break camp quickly, filter some more water, grab a quick granola bar and begin walking.  I am very anxious to finish this trek. 

It is not too soon that I hit another river crossing.  This is fast and deep and I realize that it will be a killer to cross.  Mind you, I am in my long johns under my shorts and a long sleeved shirt.  I change into my water shoes and hike up my long johns and shorts in the attempt that they won't get wet.  I hike up river and down river in an attempt to find the calmest and most shallow place to cross.  It is fast and deep, so I cross at the place where there is the most open spot.  It is about mid thigh and VERY cold so as a result of the quick moving river, the weight of my pack, the fatigue of my body, and the numbness of my legs, I lose it.  I plunge head first into the water and kick, jump, hop, crawl, and leap my way to the other end.  My silent slow pace of the day has been given a quick adrenaline shot.  I get to the other side and quickly drop my pack.  My heart is racing and I do the "I'm Ok that water is really cold and I am soaking wet" dance on the other side.  So much for a quiet walk this morning.  My camera doesn't open, so I am concerned that all the pictures I took are not going to make it, but after about 2 hours baking in the sun, it starts to wake up.  I am able to capture some of these pics.

Then I just begin to put the miles in to get back to my truck.  One of the things that I like about a topographical map is that you can interpret the lines on the map and see how steep you are going to climb and literally walk down the path and see where your next turn will be and gauge where that will be on the mountain.  So I am walking in the valley between two mountain ridges and I have a general idea where I am, but am really confused as to the path that I am to take.  The ridge to my left goes on for about 3 miles and I know that the map shows that I should be looking for a path leading to the left.  I think that it must be at the end of the ridge because the sides leading up are very steep.  It must curve nicely and easily around the base of mountain.  Then I see the trail as it diverts UP, steeply UP into the ridge.  I must hike UP AGAIN for about 4 miles to my truck.  This is the only way.  My nice leisurely stroll to my truck has again become a difficult hike.

It is on this path back up into the mountains that I have to begin counting my steps.  I have set a personal goal that I will count my age before I stop.  Yes, my goal is to take 37 steps in a row before stopping to rest.  Yes.  I am that exhausted.  I dare not take off my pack because I am just in the mindset to leave it in the middle of the woods.  I have drained all my water and I don't want to stop and eat lunch because I am SO close.  This also leads into my exhaustion.  Just count.  Just count to 37.  Just count.  When I am going on part of a downhill part of the path, I actually get up to 200.  I am so excited that I giggle like a school girl.

It is on the path that, along with my counting, I continue to mumble to myself the phrases that have kept me going:

Don't let me forget how hard this is!
Don't let me forget how weak I am!
Don't let me forget how dependent I must be!
God, let me never forget.

When I am almost completely done and can't walk any more, I come upon the sign that turned me around on the first day.  I am on the trail that I took in error the first day.  I wonder if God had me walk down this trail on the first day when I had the strength, because now, I know this trail.  I know that I have one mile left to go. I know that I will walk mostly through the woods with the river on my right.  When I get out of the woods, I will almost be done.  I know that I will then have a boulder field to pick my way through.  I know that I will walk along the river and be able to see my truck on the other side.  I know that when I see my truck, I will then be able to see the bridge that I walk over.  Just... one... more... mile.

I can't say that my pace increased and that I could stop counting my steps.  I had never been that physically exhausted before.  I had reached what I thought was my last ounce of energy numerous times only to realize that I had never gotten to the end of my ability before.  I always was relying on my own strength, but it was on this day that I reached the end.  I could not have walked one more mile.  If I hadn't been on that mile before, I don't know if I could have made.

I make it to my car and after a nice little cat nap, I drive out.  I know that I have about 10 minutes before I have cell phone coverage, so it is during these miles that I lose it and weep like I have never wept before.  I weep as I cry out to God, "My life is not my own.  I was bought with a price.  What right to I have to want anything?  I am only a servant of Christ.  What He wants from me is the only thing I want."  My life is not my own.

Currently 3 Cups of Tea: (One Man's Mission to Promote Peace... One School at a Time) By Greg Mortenson see related

Summer Adventures Day Three

July 15, 2008:

Today I wake up at sunrise and am sore beyond my days. I climb out of my tent and break camp half heartedly.  My plan for today is to walk to Gothic of which I am about 10 miles and then on to Crested Butte which is 10 miles after that.  Not a bad hike.

After about 2 miles, I hit my first pass.  It is not nearly as high as my first one.
 

After another mile, I realize why there is no vehicle traffic.  There is about 5 feet of snow covering the road around a bend when I come across the sun reflecting off of glacier lake.

I am amazed at its beauty and filter more water from a little stream of snow melt.  Soon I come upon a couple walking from Gothic.  We talk about the path ahead and I tell them my plan to get back to Maroon lake.  They tell me of a pass called East Maroon Pass that would take me back to my car.  They said that they had gone over the pass last year and that while it was steep, it was a good pass.  With the amount of snow, it might be impassible, but it was worth a try.  I could walk 10 miles past Gothic to Crested Butte and get a ride 90 miles back to my truck or I could take a trail to Copper lake and over East Maroon Pass which would be about 20 miles.

I am literally at a crossroads.  Do I walk the 10 miles to Crested Butte and get a ride or take the chance that East Maroon is open and hike 20 miles to my truck?  I have to take the chance.

I catch a ride 3 miles into Gothic and decide to take the trail.  Worst case scenario:  I make it 10 miles to the pass and can not pass it at which time I must walk 20 miles back into Crested Butte.  This is mentally weighing on me with every step I take.  Am I just walking in vain to turn back around again?

Along the way, I hit a nice 50 foot waterfall and get more exhausted with every step I take.  I am tired and concerned that with every step, I am taking myself further away from my destination tonight.
 

I get to Copper Lake and see a snowfield that was immense.  I am climbing the western side of the pass.  This should be clear as it takes the afternoon sun.  With about a mile to go from the top, I hit the bottom.  I realize that if the western side is not clear, there is no way that the Eastern side is passable.  I plan to hike the final mile, look over the top if I can make it that far and set up camp at copper lake and make my way to Crested the next day.

I take my time on this mile because 1. I am exhausted, and 2. I am mentally defeated.  My worst scenario is unfolding before my eyes.  I stop about 1/2 mile from the top and refill my water.  I lay down and rest in the snow.  I feel both the cold of the snow and the heat of the sun.  I get up and make my final 1/2 mile depressed.  I would say I walked in silence, but that's been my whole trip.  I trudge through the snow to get to the top of the pass and look over.  What I see is beyond belief!  It is clear and passable.  This defies logic.  The western face should be clear and the eastern face should be snow covered not the other way around.

Because I have taken so long going up the pass, that I have about 2 hours of sunlight left and there are only rocky ledges to camp.  I have to really book to find a suitable campsite for the night.

I finally find an acceptable place to camp that is not a rocky ledge nor a soggy valley.  I am EXHAUSTED but very happy.  I am about 8 miles from my truck and I will finish it tomorrow.  I am so happy that I break open my stove and cook myself something hot and I fall quickly asleep knowing that I will be walking out the next day back into civilization.

Summer Adventures Day Two

Monday, July 14, 2008

I wake up at sunrise around 5:30 a.m. and read my journal entry from the day before.

7-13-08 - This was by far the most difficult day of my life.  It was difficult and frustrating.  Easy 1st day, my butt.  I am overweight, my pack is too heavy, and I am out of shape.  My half-hearted exercising came screaming back today.  8 and 1/2 miles tomorrow.

I unzip my tent to see this and my aching body feels only slightly better.  

I have a quick breakfast and break camp.  I know that I will be coming to a river crossing soon, so I drink all my water and pack up.  Not too long, I see my first crossing.

It is fast and COLD since it is actully just melted snow.  I change into my water shoes and start accross.  I am immediately taken to the fact that I can't feel anything below my knees.  I make it accross and start around the bend when I see my first pass, West Maroon Pass.

It is the little V at the top of the hill and I know I have to hike through the snow with my pack.  I am not looking forward to it.  I literally toe kick into the snow and climb straight up.  It is slow going until right at the end when there is about a 40 foot rock climb that I really thought I was going to die on.  There are a group of 4 climbers that are with me and talk me through it.  If they weren't there, I would not have tried it.  I shouldn't have with them there.  I make it to the top with this view down what I came up. 

The other side is mostly clear as it is western facing and most of the snow had melted.  Once I am over the pass, I come to an epiphany of sorts.  I realize that there is no way that I can go over that pass the opposite direction.  While going up was radically difficult, going down is downright impossible.  I have metaphorically jumped over the fence with no way of coming back.  I make my way down and traverse much of the way toward the 2nd pass, frigid air pass, knowing that between the 2nd and 3rd pass is unpassable and the 1st pass is now unpassable in this direction.  In a phrase, I am screwed.  I think that I may be able to take a secondary path that goes over the mountain without a pass, but it would take me through a snowfield that has on heck of an avalanche waiting to happen.  I attempt to head up this way, but am thwarted as I continue to slip through the snow and ice.  I sit on the trail studying my map trying to figure what I should do.

I finally determine that the only way that I can go is walk down to the little town of Gothic which is about 10 miles from Creste Butte and catch a ride 90 miles around the mountains to my truck.  I determine that this is my only way to go.  I hike back to the base of West Maroon Pass and head down valley.  I take one more fleeting picture of West Maroon Pass and really start walking.

I start heading down valley about mid afternoon and hope to make camp within 4 or 5 hours.  I just put the time and distance in.  I am sore, tired, and pissed.  I am going completely off what I had planned and upset that my 25 mile trek will take me forever.

After walking forever, I hit a wilderness 4x4 road and start heading into the town of Gothic.  I am about 10 miles away and have hiked about 14 miles already.  I know from the map that the road will cross a wide river, but I am assuming that there will be a bridge.  There is not.  It is not as fast moving, so I can traverse it without much effort.  It is about waist deep and now I am sore, really tired, really mad, and very wet.  I hope to catch a ride into town, but ultimately set up camp on the side of the road.  I am so tired that I can barely set up my tent.  There is no way that I have the energy to cook dinner, so I just lay my head on my pillow and eat a granola bar.  I literally eat laying down.

My journal entry is short:
7-14-08 - I thought yesterday was hard.  Today was indescribable.  I'm spent, I'm through, I'm done.  Barely able to write I am so exhausted.  West Maroon Pass wow, couldn't make frigid air pass.  Walking forever.

to be continued...